I’m here today because I thought I could stay off the ads and had been dry for almost six months. But last week I plunged and have been diving deeper and deeper downwards since then.
I don’t know why I do it. There is no real gratification, no heady feelings of lightness or euphoria. It’s just a way to satisfy an unnaturally large curiosity and a very strange desire to see inside other people’s lives and particularly their homes.
Because it’s always the house ads I look at first. What’s up for sale around here? What does their kitchen look like? How big is their garage? Is there a fireplace? A swimming pool? How much are they wanting? Would we actually want to live there? Of course we wouldn’t, we have our own beautiful home.
Then I spiral off onto the dining-room table ads. Teak or oak? Round or rectangular? Expandable or not? How many of us could it seat? Would it actually fit into our space?
Which then of course drags me over to chairs. If we change the table then we’ll need new chairs. Vintage or modern? Red? Black? White? It goes on and on for many eye-exhausting minutes.
To finish I usually go onto the pets page and look at the mongrel puppies up for adoption. Do we really want one? Not for now, that’s sure. Maybe at retirement. So only ten or fifteen more years of looking, and most of these cute little faces will be grey and old, or even dead by then, of course.
What an absolute waste of time! So many precious moments frittered away when I could be doing something extraordinary like emptying the dishwasher, ironing, or cutting the grass.
That’s what helped wean me off this addiction in the first place. Maybe that’s what will save me again, second time around.
Because with your help I honestly want to give up. I’ve had enough of looking at things I will never buy. My head is aching and my eyes are popping out of their sockets with all the useless scrolling they are being forced to accept.
But as I write this I can feel my fingers itching to swap pages and pour myself a shot of the ad-site.
Maybe just one more time before I stop forever……